MONDAY, 2ND DECEMBER
On the morning walk to my cold car, I look at my mobile phone. 7:24am - it's dark, it's raining, it's windy. ‘Hooray Advent...’, I think as I drop the car keys into the puddle next to the entrance, the size of a quarry pond. But no, I'm not going to let meteorological adversity dampen my spirits. Not today! After all, this is the most romantic time of year - full of candles, full of scent, full of biscuits and shining children's eyes and... mud on the key. I get in, switch on the seat heating and turn the key. Of course, what has to happen happens: In my mind's eye, a blonde body wave travels up the mountain in a red gondola, smiling. ‘Last Christmas, I gave you my heart...’ comes from the loudspeakers. It's finally time again. Merry joy - nice presents!
WEDNESDAY, 4TH DECEMBER
“So, we're now planning for Hildegard and Manfred to come to us on the 23rd. That way we'll have less stress after the party and we'll have enough crockery. Ursula and Gerd will then come between the years. I'm just curious to see if Thorsten can hold back a bit this year. It's almost a tradition for him and Manfred to argue about the garden decorations at Christmas. It has to be bright - and twinkling. But you know how it is...”
Irritated, I turn my gaze from my screen to the centre aisle of the office. With tinsel in her left hand and a cup of ‘inner peace’ tea in her right, Simone is standing at the printer with Jakob. ‘This woman has an organ... But why tinsel? To decorate the printer? Or Jakob?’, I think as I involuntarily follow Simone's Christmas plans. Isn't there such a thing as ‘outer peace tea’? I'm probably being too un-Christmassy again. I forgive myself - after all, Christmas is coming soon and everything needs to be planned, invited, and cooked for. Cheers.
TUESDAY, 10TH DECEMBER
“It's just maddening. You create a wish list for Serafina at an online mail order company and what happens? It's updated a good two weeks before Christmas Eve. Of course, my wife also went shopping this weekend. Guess what else she treated herself to in the process? Exactly the juicer I ordered for her on Thursday. You're really going crazy...’ Oh dear, poor Thorben. You're already so romantically digital and in the end it only brings frustration with presents. Christmas always comes as a surprise. And I'm no longer quite sure whether I'm here in the office or in the Christmas workshop at the North Pole...
WEDNESDAY, 18TH DECEMBER
The ranks of our office are slowly thinning out. A wave of colds, full overtime accounts and early winter holidays are taking their toll. I'm sitting here now, deputising for Karsten and Andrea. I really enjoy doing it - a lot. Both of them have put a bowl of biscuits on my desk as a little thank you for standing in for them during their holiday. “Laaast Christmas, ...”, I sing to myself as I shove a second walnut double-decker into my mouth. I'd done worse before! “You'll be there tomorrow night too, won't you?” I hear from the neighbouring desk. Turning round in surprise, all that comes out of my crumbly mouth is “At waff?”. “Well, at our visit to the Christmas market. Mr Koch invited us to the closing celebration of the year.” That's right, there was something. Another wonderful departmental tradition. And of course, I'm there when the head of department invites us to a nice visit to the Christmas market!
THURSDAY, 19TH DECEMBER
After a gruelling day at work with the title ‘Surely it can all be done this year, right?’ with 516 biscuits and five cups of ‘inner peace tea’, I now find myself in the middle of a large crowd of people at the Christmas market. It smells of waffles, cinnamon, bratwurst and ... exhaled mulled wine. “Nice to have a bite,” breathes Rebekka, who has thawed out a little after her second hot drink. “Would you like some brandy almonds?” I don't need to be told twice! While the honey and almond mixture is still working its way into the space between my existing molars, Mr Koch taps his mulled wine glass four times with a biro. “Dear staff, it gives me great pleasure that you have all accepted my invitation today [...]. We will certainly continue to master [...] challenges in the coming year [...] highly motivated team [...]. I am proud [...] dynamic [...]”. He really is a nice guy, Mr Koch. And I'm also pleased that half the Christmas market is now also listening attentively to the words of our boss. You could almost think that the town brass band had devoutly ceased all musical endeavours. And indeed, after the last ‘Thank you very much!’ from Mr Koch, even bystanders with children in their arms and the nice lady behind the sausage counter at the bratwurst stand join in the clapping. Oh yes, Christmas is the time to get together and have fun. Are there actually any toilets at a market like this??
FRIDAY, 20TH DECEMBER
“Helloo…lo…lo…lo – is anyone there-ere-ere...?” Well, it looks like I'll be alone in the office today. At least it gives me the chance to do my final tasks in peace. As I can't disturb anyone, I switch on the radio. “Last Christmas, ...” Fupp - the radio is off again. Well, it'll just stay quiet here. As the phone seems to have stopped working too, I use the time to tidy up a bit. The things you can find... An old invoice that I spent two weeks looking for in June without success. Or here, the remains of a walnut double-decker next to my laptop bag - fortunately from this year. I equip myself with a bucket of water and a few paper towels to give the year and my desk a good clean. Loud knocking noises pull me out of my thoughts. Who wants anything else today? ...KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
“Hello! Parcel! Hello?” I go to meet the delivery man, wondering who would be so crazy as to order a parcel to the office. “Hello, good afternoon...” “Hello here, parcel!”, he hands me a parcel of around 1m3 and disappears without a word. Ah yes - for Joachim Maximilian Koch. Too bad that yesterday's visit to the Christmas market heralded the start of his holidays. As usual, the packaging material is torn at one corner and I happen to see what's inside. How lucky do you have to be? Press the speed dialling button - two rings. „Yes hello, boss, hi...“.
“Hello Mr Koch, this is the remaining lady from the office. A parcel has just been left for you. I think it's a Christmas present... If you like, I can bring it round for you... I still have a lot to do here, but I'm happy to make a diversion on the way home.”
“Really? That would be super nice! I've been waiting for that for a while.” That's exactly what I wanted to hear... And anyone who thinks I'm an exemplary helpful person is absolutely right on the one hand. On the other hand, a Carrera racetrack can be packed up again true to the original if you unpack it carefully enough... And with that, I postpone my cleaning plans. There's still time for that after the holidays.
With this in mind: best pre-Christmas regards and happy holidays!
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